•December 14, 2009 • 2 Comments
Studies have shown that Gay couple make just as good, in not better in certain instances, of parents as heterosexual couples do. Do to the emence planning that has to go on with gay couples who want to have kids, they are usually more well off as far as income goes, also they are ussually of an older age, both overall more prepared for the child then heterosexual couple are when it comes to having a baby. Studies have also shown the the children or Gay couples are exactly the same as children of straight couples as far as with emotions and cognitive abilities, and in fact some studies show that children of gay couples are better and more socially involves then those of straight couples.
Even with all these studies showing the gay parents are just as loving and good for kids as the traditional straight family, there is still only 4 of the 50 states that will allow a gay couple to adopt a child. Though many states will allow a gay couple to foster children, with or not they can adopt the child afterward in out of the the question. Florida is one of the few states that actually have it as a law that Gays cant adopt, due to a law passed it 1977, most states in the U.S. have it set in to the system more or a subtle way. The rest of the 46 states have discovered a loop whole to not allow gays to adopt, with out having to come right out and say it, this is done by them not allowing married couples to not adopt, however, with them also not allow gays to married, this still keeps a gay couple out of the adoption process.
For those of you wanting to fix this your best way to start is to petition and right to your local and state governments and let them know how you feel on the subject.
Hope everyone has a good christmas break
•December 13, 2009 • Leave a Comment
I grew up with two very loving and involved parents, but it is true that my mother was home more and that I confide in her more often than I do my father. Maybe that is just a result of our shared gender, but I’d say the situation is true for all of my siblings. I’m not married and I have no children, but those are both part of my future plans. As I think about what I want my future husband to be like as a person, as a father, and a spouse I think maybe I’m setting him up to be less involved as a father than I am as a mother. Of course I want him to spend time with our children and know them and love them and support them, but I still expect him to be around less than I am.
I have to admit that if it’s financially possible I would love to be able to stay home with my children full-time or as much as possible. That does mean, however, that my husband will be working full-time and thus home less often than I will be. I consider myself to be a modern woman too, I am getting an education so that I can support myself when necessary, and I believe that men are just as capable of raising children as women are. But somewhere amidst all of that I still want to be the one home with the kids.
I think that changing society’s views would be a huge undertaking, but what I can do is work on my own visions of the future. I can do my best to encourage my husband and children to spend time together separately and with the whole family. I can create a feeling of shared parenting even though one of us is more physically present. I cherish my relationship with both of my parents and don’t think that either is lacking, they’re just different. Hopefully my future spouse and I will be able to make those different relationships special and effective too. So maybe the change does start with me.
– Melinda Perkins
•December 13, 2009 • 1 Comment
In class earlier this week we discussed adoption and the effects it has on children, both positive and negative. However because of limited time we did not have the opportunity to focus specifically on transracially adopted children. There are some very serious impacts on emotional development of children who are adopted by parents of a different race. Some of the issues exclusive to these children are a feeling of disconnection from culture and family, likewise many children latter in adulthood face complications with their own sense of self.
A review of the book “ In search of Belonging: Reflections of Transracially Adopted people” (Barratt, 2007), gives a glimpse into the complications of tranracially adopted children later in adulthood through interviews. One women states,
I guess my mother’s only fault was thinking that my colour didn’t matter, that it is only skin deep. I’m not sure what world she lives in but it isn’t mine”.
This is a perfect window into the disconnection that transracially adopted children can feel with their adopted families. It is of vital importance that parents adopting children of a race that is not their own (especially if that race contains significant physical differences such as skin tone) that they allow that child experience individuals who look like them and share a familiar culture. Transracially adopted children, if possible, should be able to visit their birth countries and participate in their home culture in order to gain a sense of belonging. In the review one young man discusses the first time he visited Jamaica, his birth country, and met his birth mother and family. He explains how it was as if a “missing puzzle piece had been put in place”, the sense of belonging and comfort he felt around those who looked like him and associated with a shared culture was immeasurable. While this can also illicit a torn feeling between birth culture and adoptive culture at times leading to a perceived lack of acceptance by both, it is still of the utmost importance that these children receive this type of exposure.
Many transracially adopted children face short to very lengthy amounts of time in orphanages. While this has large impacts on all adopted children, it adds another layer to a pile of issues for transraciallly-adopted children. One man reflected,
My memories of being in the nursery are mainly of spending vast amounts of time on my own… only years later did I discover the full extent of what being neglected means.
It is clear from this that transracially adopted children need extensive efforts put forward by their adoptive parents with regard to attachment and developmental delay, perhaps much more than other adopted children. We need to gain an extensive understanding of the issues these children face and how to combat them so cultural identity is not a daily struggle.
Barratt, S., 2007. Review of “In Search of Belonging: Reflections by Transracially Adopted People”. Journal of Family Therapy, Vol 29(3), pp. 295-297
•December 13, 2009 • Leave a Comment
Many states are trying to make foster care with gay and lesbian families illegal. Three state that have already made it illegal. The funding to make foster care illegal is costing millions of dollars. If this funding goes through and is successful 9000 to 14,000 children in foster care will be displaced as well as unknown damage to their well being. more than one half milllion children live in foster care and more than 2 million gay, lesbian and bi-sexual people are considering adoption or foster care. This is terrible that this kind of persecution is still going on. For all those many people that are closed minded and think that gay and lesbian couples should not be able to adopt or be foster parents here are some facts.
An estimated 65,500 adopted children are living with a lesbian or gay parent.
More than 16,000 adopted children are living with lesbian and gay parents in California, the highest number among the states.
Gay and lesbian parents are raising four percent of all adopted children in the United States.
Same-sex couples raising adopted children are older, more educated, and have more economic resources than other adoptive parents.
Adopted children with same-sex parents are younger and more likely to be foreign born.
An estimated 14,100 foster children are living with lesbian or gay parents.
Gay and lesbian parents are raising three percent of foster children in the United States.
A national ban on GLB foster care could cost from $87 to $130 million.
Costs to individual states could range from $100,000 to $27 million
•December 13, 2009 • 3 Comments
In class we talked about the role fo the father. Traditionally he would be the provider for the family and not be as interactive with the chores and child rearing. Well this is not how it should be. I wonder how this whole role-playing even started. Fathers are just as well equiped to be a “house wife” as mothers. Fathers have the same skills and love that mothers do. They may be different strategies from one another but both provide the same benefits. The thing I thought was so interesting was when a father goes to pick up his child the child gets excited because the dad will always have a fun way to pick up the child, and when the baby sees mom coming to pick them up, they feel a sense of comfort and soothing because mom is always tender with the child. This is so true! I have seen this so much but I never really thought about it. Both ways are very good for the child in their bonding with the parents. I think this is so special.
Now in the real world how would a father go about being a more stay at home father to the baby. For example dad’s don’t get paternity leave. My manager’s wife is about to give birth and she gets 3 months paid maternity leave, and he gets 1 week of unpaid leave. Now how unfair is that? Society sees the mother as the one that should be there for the infant, but why can’t the father? He has the right to be there just as much as the mother does. I don’t know how this can even change. The stereotype is that if a father is too involved he won’t be a hard worker. I think this is so false and that if a father is that dedicated to his family I think he will be just as dedicated to work. I think the only way to get this to change is to educate people. I didn’t even really think about these issues until we discussed it in class. If more people can be educated about this, especially company owners and mangers who give leave, then I think we can start making the step in the right direction for equal rights for both mothers and fathers to be there for their newborns and children.
•December 13, 2009 • 2 Comments
In a report by Charlotte J. Patterson of the American Psychological Association, it is stated that the only impairment in psychological functioning that homosexuals face in contrast to heterosexuals is the acute distress caused by exposure to the widespread prejudice and discrimination of public opinion. The results of exhaustive research all reach the unanimous conclusion that homosexuality does not in any way detract from a couple’s ability to care for their children. In fact, gays may quite possibly be superior at raising children, as some studies indicate. As gay men are equally likely to have a masculine essence as a feminine one, and the same for lesbians, research indicates that children of gay couples are at no greater risk of developing gender identity, gender-role behavior, or sexual orientation confusion as are children of heterosexual couples.
The issue of gay parenting ultimately falls under the much more controversial topic of gay marriage. Last years Proposition 8 ballot in California was a major setback for the promotion of homosexual unions. Many people believe that marriage is strictly a sacred institution between a man and a woman for the purpose of procreation. In a world that is seemingly falling to pieces every minute, with people killing each other every day over minor disagreements, difference in skin color, and religious differences, tolerance may be our only hope.
•December 13, 2009 • 2 Comments
Even though that the topic of adoption was the last thing we discussed in class, it really stayed with me throughout the day. Adoption is a wonderful thing that helps single pieces that are people become whole as a family. In fact, without adoption, I wouldn’t have known several of my cousins. During our discussion in class, I learned quite a few things concerning the matter but more so, I found out that the cost for a family to adopt was substantial.
The process of adoption is a costly one. The numbers in class showed that domestic adoption costs roughly around $20,000-$40,000, and international runs about $50,000-$80,000. And did I forget to mention that that’s on top of interviews, background checks, and a lengthy bureaucratic process? Here’s a few things you’ll have to go through if you were to adopt domestically:
-Home Study and preparation services
-Petitions to the legal system and court representations
Birth parent expenses
-Medical expenses for the child
And those are just a few expenses and hoops that adopting parents have to jump through. These are just a few examples of adoption expenditures. They don’t necessarily include the time invested which wares on a person as well as their wallets. Just think about those who try to adopt internationally. They might and might not go through the exact motions however, things like visas, travel, and the legality when it come to other countries could interfere time wise. After what may seem like forever to a couple or single parent waiting to adopt, caring for the child and constantly being there for it requires a lot of energy.
Of course there’s a lot more to adoption than money and the interactions with second and third parties. There’s the interaction with a new child that you’ve been entrusted with. When the process is over and the child is with their parent, there’s probably no other blissful experience like it.
-class notes and lecture