Open Adoption

During the lecture on adoption, I couldn’t help but reflect back on the years with my youngest brother who is adopted.  He became part of our family when he was only a couple of days old and so we all tend to forget that he is even adopted.  He’s even experienced this, such as when he went to college out of state & was filling out some medical information.  About 15 minutes into the paperwork he realized, “Oh wait a minute.  I don’t know all of this information really because I’m answering questions about my (adopted) parents — not my biological parents.”  He has not felt the need to track down where he originated & has no doubt that he belongs in the family he is is.

Not everyone feels the same way.  Many children have many questions, such as “Why was I put up for adoption?” or “What medical issues should I be aware of” or “Where are my roots?”  Some people now have the option of having “open adoptions” where the birth parents are allowed to be a part of the child’s life and the child is allowed contact with the parents & information for the questions he or she may have.  For some children and the birth parents this may be a good option.  Others find some conflicts that arise such as confusing “boundaries” & expectations. 

For more information about the pros & cons of open adoptions, there is an interesting site:

Deanna Cote’


~ by dscote on December 14, 2009.

One Response to “Open Adoption”

  1. My brother gave up a daughter when he was in high school to an open adoption situation. The girl is happy in California and she and my brother regularly write. It works out well for both. We all know she is happy, and my brother could not have taken care of her in high school.
    Jennifer Poulos

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