“You’re not my real mom!”

“You’re not my real mom and my real mom would never be so mean!”  What hurtful words can come out of the mouths of teenagers, in this case, an adopted teenager.  How should a parent react to this type of statement?  First of all, in the first sentence, the response should be “I AM your real mom.” It’s important to let the child know that the decision you have made that made them angry in the first place is rational, and allow them to talk about it.  Also, always let them know that they are loved by you no matter what.  Stay calm, or suggest that you both take a while to calm down before discussing.  Address the fact that biological parents would probably have made the same decision they did as well.

This information was found at http://life.familyeducation.com/adoption/nontraditional-families/45805.html.

Rebekah Pinegar

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~ by rebekahcp on December 12, 2009.

2 Responses to ““You’re not my real mom!””

  1. I’ve heard about that a lot. I think it would be very hard to deal with when you love them so much. How does that work if you adopted them when they are older and you’ve only had them for a couple of weeks?
    emily blackburn

  2. That would be so hard to deal with as an adoptive parent after all you went through to get them, but also children that have their biological parents say hurtful things, not about being their real parents but other awful things teens say. I think it is just about being a teen and they are going to say things they don’t mean no matter what the situation. It’s just part of going through the tough stage of life.
    Lisa Tamburrino

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