Although this is on a somewhat personal matter, ironically it ties in with what we have been discussing in gender studies, and the importance of fatherhood. I just found out 2 hours ago that our family friend shot himself. He left behind two daughters, 13 and 15. When I think of how devastating it would have been to lose my own father in this way and at their age, I have trouble comprehending it. At 38, I still need my father everyday. When his father (my grandpa) died at 67, I remember him telling me how he didnt know how he would function, because he still called his dad everyday, even after all those years. Fatherhood is not only important when you are a child, you always need your dad.

In my dear friends suicide note it was clear that he had emotions that he could not deal with. He didnt want people to see him as weak or not a man because of his financial trouble. He was always putting on a tough guy persona, and had to be macho man at all times. He was the kind of guy we talked about in gender study time, who never cried and never could deal with his emotions. He never could put what he was feeling into words, and he didnt understand why others got so upset over various things. He was out of tune with his emotions.

Unfortunate endings can easily come out of this mistake of raising sons to be macho. I only wish he could have admitted the stress he was under and seek help before this happened.

Jennifer Poulos


~ by sun71 on December 9, 2009.

2 Responses to “Fatherhood”

  1. It is really unfortunate that he wouldn’t let anyone see that he was in need. It is also unfortunate that many other males feel they need to be “strong” enough that they don’t need help in dealing with their emotions. I am sorry for your loss.

    Tracy Hubertz

  2. I dont know what i would do without my father My father is a single parent and raised me and my sister for the most part by himself. Ive always had him.
    tida Blackburn

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