Is there anything good about authoritarian parenting? (Post 8)

As we discussed in class today the different parenting styles that people exhibit;t he one that most intrigues me is the authoritarian parenting style. I think that there is obviously more cons to this style than pros; but I think the pros need to be brought into light. Most of the time the only thing that is brought into site is that parents that are authoritarian often have a tendency for strict rules, rigid guideline, and very high expectations for their children; yet, what is really wrong with that? I understand that being able to communicate with your child and exchange thought processes is the best option for a parent, but I don’t see the harm in having a strict home and lifestyle for a child, its like growing up in a military family.

If a child doesn’t get the love and warmth from their parents, they are likely to form that type of attachment with someother adult. Does the parent have to be the one to show the child love and warmth, can’t they just be rigid and firm? Why is it bad to hold such high expectations for your children and expect that they be very successful? Should we totally discount authoritarian parenting as a bad style or take a combination of authoritarian and authoritative to make the best style?

“Authoritarian parents believe in holding their children to a very high level of achievement and status. The desire for discipline is often so paramount in this relationship that the relationship, itself, is devoid or low on love, affection and nurturing. This is not to say that an authoritarian parent does not love her child but the child often does not perceive the love as being unconditional. Many children of authoritarian parents equate success with love (Bradley, 2006).”

Bradley, Nicki. Authoritarian Parenting: An Overview. 2/17/2006. http://parenting.families.com/blog/authoritarian-parenting-an-overview

-Becky M. Smart

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~ by Becky Knoblauch Smart on December 1, 2009.

2 Responses to “Is there anything good about authoritarian parenting? (Post 8)”

  1. There is a big difference between holding high expectations for your child and helping a child reach his/her potential. Oftentimes, authoritarian parents hold too high of expectations in which the child is unable to reach – no matter the reason. Authoritative parents, on the other hand, set expectations based on their child’s potential. Not all children have the same capability of reaching an expected level of knowledge, fitness, etc. Athoritative parents are, therefore, more likely to understand a child’s shortcomings and be flexible with his/her expectations.

    Marissa Hayes

  2. Authoritarian parents aren’t the only ones who hold high expectations – Authoritative parents can also hold very high expectations.

    I would also argue that YES, IT IS THE PARENT’S DUTY TO SHOW WARMTH AND LOVE to children. We know that when the parent-child relationship is lacking warmth and affection, a child is much more likely to have internalizing and externalizing problems (depression, anxiety, rule-breaking, aggression…) and they also show relationship difficulties down the road.

    The idea that “serial killers wouldn’t do what they do if only their parents loved them” is an example of the extreme result of a lack of parental warmth.

    Being a “military family” doesn’t necessitate a lack of warmth and understanding, but these families may show it in slightly different ways.

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