The Good Son

I found the article, The Good Son, to be very interesting with several valid points.  His experience of talking with the high school boys about being a man, demonstrated how many boys do not have a clear picture of what being a “man” involves.  Now granted, none of us have a completely clear picture of what we will become as adults or what that specifically entails until we go through many of those experiences, but I think this story touches on a really important point. 

With the divorce rate increasing, many children are spending a majority of their time with the mothers and limited time with the fathers.  Some children do not have the fathers in their lives at all.  Mothers can try their very best to raise their children in a well-rounded environment, but the kids do lose some valuable perspective that they might experience if the father is a consistent part of their lives.  The interaction between a child and a mother is probably different than the interaction a child has with the father, so if the everyday consistency changes then the interactions will probably be different. 

For example, dads that only have the kids every-other-weekend, may tend to spend their time doing fun activities & going places.  They may not be part of the daily routines of homework, responsibilities, or discipline.  The kids’ experiences of Dad will be more about having a good time, but not necessarily contribute to their understanding of how to treat their future spouse, or how to make decisions or solve problems as a family unit, or that it is beneficial for Dad to help with raising children & doing household chores.  Fathers have to put intentional, concentrated effort into being a “Good Father” if they are to help their sons learns to be a “Good Son”.  Boys learn through the examples of the main male figures in their lives how to be “a man”, which is usually their fathers.  Girls are impacted by these same changing dynamics as well when their parents live in different locations.

Deanna Cote’

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~ by dscote on November 29, 2009.

One Response to “The Good Son”

  1. I see where you are coming from. As a child from divorce, (lived with my mother in utah, while dad still lives in california), all things normal and routine took place with my mother. Beside all of the regular happenings of children: any issues with friends, any problems I had or for confusion in my life, I went to her. But, when I went to visit my dad, all day long we would be out to amusement parks, bowling, horseback riding, going to the beach, going out to restaurants, everything fantastic to an 11 year old, and I did have a great time visiting my dad. But, when it came to alternate issues, I would not by any means find reason to go to him for help with anything. A facade of a relationship, if anything.

    Kellie Gibson

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