Raising Cain

I really liked the Raising Cain chapter. A couple years ago I saw a video based on the book, and have been trying, ever since, to employ these ideas to increase my productivity with children, and more specifically boys. Boys can be more emotional than girls. They are also taught that emotions, like fear, sadness, and distress, are not “manly” and should not be showed. Thus, from a  young age we are teaching our boys to not show emotion. This is completely unrealistic. Boys and girls are more the same than they are different.

What I found most interesting was the idea that the more boys conformed with stereotypical male beliefs, like: “It is essential for a guy to get respect from others” or “A husband should not have to do house work,” the more they were involved in drinking, drugs, unprotected sex, or other risky, “hypermasuline” activites.

To me, this appears that we are first teaching our boys how to be bad, and then punishing them for doing so.  Most women these days are looking for that kind, sensitive guy, who will help with the dishes, or put the kids to bed. Many are not finding them, just because of these stereotypes that this generation, and all previous generations, has grown up with. If we were to change this, by treating our boys and girls more equally, talking to them about emotions, and helping them deal with them, not telling them to “be a man” but helping them to become that, they are more likely to be the kind of guys our daughters want to find.

Melissa Call

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~ by Melissa on November 28, 2009.

3 Responses to “Raising Cain”

  1. This is such a great book and issue to bring up. Men in our society struggle to balance romantic relationships and what their taught is independence. They are often viewed as mutually exclusive rather than a potential ideal pair.

  2. This is such a great book and issue to bring up. Men in our society struggle to balance romantic relationships and what their taught is independence. They are often viewed as mutually exclusive rather than a potential ideal pair.

    Madelyn King

  3. Do you often see parents treating their sons differently when working with children? We’re learning all this great information in class that can really help us in our skills as parents but will our 50 students be able to make a difference and change the way that society accepts only “manly” men? I think so, and I agree with you that boys and girls are both emotionally capable.
    It also made me smile how you mentioned that we as the future mothers to daughters can help them by molding sons into into emotionally capable men who can satisfy the women of modern world. haha.

    Apparently there is also a horror/thiller movie called Raising Cain as well. I came across it while looking for the video you talked about.

    kathy phan

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