The movie

This movie was very interesting. It caused each of us to question, “How would I react if my child felt different about his/her gender than what his/her body declared”?  I think many of us would hope that we would be more sensitive and supportive of our child than Ludo’s parents were, but we may not know of the emotional roller-coaster we might experience if we were in their shoes. 

I found myself really frustrated with the parents.  They were so preoccupied with what their neighbors thought, that they failed to recognize how unhappy their child was.  They treated him as if he was “choosing” how he felt about himself.  However, due to biology and hormones, we do not choose how we are born & what we identify with.  I know that gender roles are encouraged…..I see it in my own children & their kids now, that we tend to treat boys & girls differently, offering different toys & roles for them to identify with.  But there is a physiological component as well. 

We may feel some uncomfortableness if they challenge societal norms, but hopefully we can make that child & his safety & peace of mind our priority.  Everyone needs to feel loved & families should create a safe place for their children to be themselves….the rest of the world probably won’t.

At the end of the movie, I really question the mother’s declaration of unconditional love for Ludo.  I think she may have been sincere in the moment after being scared of possibly losing him, however I wonder if she would have made such a statement if they still lived in the old, unaccepting environment.  I wonder if she’ll still be able to hold to that commitment as further challenges are felt down the road. 

Ludo was never confused about who he thought he was, his body was what he felt was betraying him.  As parents, if we are going to communicate truly unconditional love for a child, we need to love them for who they are & do everything we can to provide peace of mind & safety for them.  Parents should help their children to face the confusion of life & the challenges that they all face, being there for them, helping them them find ways of coping & creating solutions to their heartaches — not causing it.

Deanna Cote’

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~ by dscote on November 15, 2009.

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