Ma Vie En Rose Thoughts

In our recently watched movie “Ma Vie En Rose,” or “My Life In Pink,” many things can be learned regarding child development and parenting (even if the movie was in French.)  As we examined the life of Ludovic and his parents and family, we saw how his behavior affected the family in so many ways- and nearly tore them apart.  Through furthering our knowledge of child development, I believe our parenting skills will increase, and we can avoid the negative consequences we saw in this movie.

The movie starts off without much background concerning Ludovich’s gender identity, but it is apparent from the beginning that Ludo thinks he is a woman.  This notion is further supported when he learns of X and Y chromosomes, and is convinced his second X fell in the trash, and thus he was stuck in the wrong body.  This is a classic example of faulty reasoning among children.  In the cognitive development section of our book, it says children believe in fantasy and magic, and it can greatly affect thier views of how things work.  Obviously, chromosomes don’t fall from the sky into our ceilings, determining which sex we are, but to Ludo, this was a concrete fact.  When he presents this to his parents, they get pretty upset.  I am convinced that the parents did a poor job in talking to their son about this problem, and believe that if they would have talked with Ludo more about his feelings on why he was a “girl,” they could have detected this false reasoning regarding the X and Y chromosomes, and perhaps factually convinced him he was a boy.  It seemed like whenever they tried to talk to him, it was in an angry, accusing way that only drove Ludo away.

This leads to another point I found in the movie.  It wasn’t until the end of the movie that the mother said “You’ll always be my child,” and telling Ludo that she unconditionally loved him.   I think if the parents would have taken this approach throughout the movie, and just loved their son no matter what he did, Ludo would have been more open to talking with them and perhaps changing his ways.  But because this approach wasn’t taken, it only drove Ludo away, which shows how children (and probably most adults, too), if not shown love, will have a hard time trusting, loving, and listening to other people.

Finally, I think the parents failed in keeping “the power.”  Throughout the movie, it seemed like Ludo always got what he wanted- and it created a lot of stress for the parents.  For instance, after an attempted suicide, his dad is willing to give him whatever he wants.  I understand this is a scary situation for any parent, but to just give them whatever they want for attempting suicide reinforces to a child that attempting suicide is actually a good thing!  Another example is how he tells his mom he hates her and wants to live with granny.  Which is exactly which happens.  Yes, the parents may have been sick of dealing with him, but to let a child boss a parent around is really not healthy, and was what I believe a major source of the family’s disfunction.

I’m glad I could watch this movie and further my knowledge of parenting skills and child development, and hope others saw what they can do so a situation like this doesn’t ruin their family.

Mike Angerbauer

~ by Mike Angerbauer on November 13, 2009.